Mom Guilt is real and it is the bane of my existence. It’s literally the fun police and shows up right when I’m feeling good about something to remind me that in reality I ain’t %%%%amp;%!

So maybe I was able to do 4 out of 5 objectives on Mason’s Speech action plan but his hair hasn’t been combed in a 2 weeks. Just when I think I’m doing good in one area, I’m reminded that I’m failing in something else.

No, Really! You should see my house… I’m ashamed because my mama is the married to Mr. Clean and that makes her Mrs. Clean. If cleanliness is next to Godliness then she’s chilling in Jesus lap. One day I’ll tell you the story of how she almost killed everybody in the house when she wage a full out war on her kitchen tile grout and decided to clean it with gasoline.

The clean is serious in my family and I know my mama can hear the dirt and clutter around me every time that she calls. I’m finding that trying to balance my duties as a mom, wife, friend, sister, employee, and literal person has me on a rollercoaster.

This is the hard thing about balance…

It doesn’t really exist. There isn’t a magical level that exists to make everyone happy. What does exist is priorities. I have to go through my day and prioritize what can wait and what really can’t. Some days the kids can wait and a nap really can’t. I’m saying this as a 20 week old pregnant mama with a 1 year old. Let’s touch and agree if a nap saved your loved ones today!

A day in the life of my juggling act

Kristian’s dance coach emailed me 3x about ordering her team tshirt but I honestly just kept forgetting. My debit card would be in the car, or that jacket I wore last Tuesday and in the midst of looking for it Mason fell off the bed. Now I’m crying because I turned my back on him and again I’m all off track. Is he really hurt? Probably not but it doesn’t matter because I was suppose to be right there when he spiderman’d off the bed and I wasn’t. We piece ourselves back together and try to get out of the house at a decent time. Is today the day that you’re going to let me brush your teeth? No? Ok! I got a little toothpaste on your tongue so we will count it as a win.

I dropped Mason off at daycare and forgot to bring his bottle but I’m all the way at work (1.5 hours away) and now have to instacart bottles and milk to the daycare because… technology. Barely make it through work and now I head home. Kristian is involved in something everyday of the week and she basically takes care of herself, (Insert a different type of mom guilt here) Yes it’s great that she is self sufficient but should she have to be? Is it because Mason takes all my attention right now? I check-in with her consistently about this and she always says that I was there when she was little and Mason is just little and needs more than she does. She’s kinda amazing in that way.

The commute home is literally another hour and a half.

I try to cook at least 3-4 times a week. This makes me feel good about myself and I genuinely enjoy cooking. Usually nobody bothers me but occasionally Kristian will come in and tell me about her day and I really like that. We try to eat dinner at the table which was something I don’t think I ever did as a child. I’m home 45 min before the bedtime routine starts for Mason. It’s usually so much stuff that needs to be done at home but again… Sleepy.

Mason may not have any clean t-shirts and Kristian might’ve worn those same socks 2 days in a row. It’s time for both of their hair to be re-braided but I have to decide if I want to fight about braids, low muscle tone exercises or eating dinner for Mason. This ain’t the WWE and we can’t do all 3. The towels need to be washed and Kristian desperately needs to go over her lines for the play she is in. The list is never ending.

I started a new list…

all the things that we did do today. I find that taking the time to celebrate all the things that did get done instead of the things that didn’t get done is a much better use of my time and mental health.

Mason slept fairly well and woke up in a good mood. Kristian dressed appropriately for the weather without being threatened. I’m still in my pre-pregnancy clothes with the help of the belly band. Noah and I agreed on breakfast and were satisfied. The commute allowed me to listen to the sermon I missed this past Sunday. I cooked something new and it was pretty much a hit! We laughed around the table and Mason even ate a few noodles. In the words of Ice Cube… Today was a good day! I just have to always remember to find the good in everything.¬†

Tonight I made the Pioneer Woman’s Beef Stroganoff and you can find that recipe here. It was something different because Kristian is really wearing me out with spaghetti every week. I think I might’ve liked it better in my Instapot though. It felt like the sirloin could’ve benefited from some pressure cooking or slow cooking. It wasn’t tough but not quite as tender as I would’ve liked.

Beef Stroganoff